Wait…what? (or: I don’t even…)

So now we have Saint John Paul II. Because of the *miracles* you see.

He’s got to have _two_ of them to be a saint. Since one could be a fluke, or something, but two just, seals the fucking deal. Whatever.

The fantastic part? The 2nd miracle was a woman who had some sort of brain swelling, but the Pope spoke to her through a *picture* and cured her.

That’s right. Traumatic (fatal) brain swelling/bleeding + imaginary hallucination of pope voice == miracle.

Well, spank my ass and call my Thomas, if I had deadly brain swelling, I might fucking hallucinate that the Pope was speaking to me too.

I *also* might hallucinate that I was Superman, the Earth was my testicle, and the Moon was our darling love child.


Being fat is a disease now? Seriously?

Apparently, now obesity is being classed as a “disease.”

Pardon me but, what the actual fuck?

Why is this a disease? Yes, I know, for a small set of obese people, it’s an honest medical condition, but the other 29.5% of Americans that are obese? That’s not a disease, at least, not a physical disease.  A social disease, sure.

If it was a real disease, I’d expect to see the same obesity rate in other countries, and you know what? You don’t. Not even close.

So, with my advanced degree in fat-ology, here’s the *real* cause of this obesity epidemic.


Talk about an interview red flag

So, I just read this article from Venturocket (what a stupid ass name), titled “The one job interview question you need to ask to find your A players

The the “A player” question they came up with?

Are you willing to work nights and weekends to get an assignment done on time?

What the actual fuck?

That’s not a “A player” question. Obviously nobody looking for a job is going to say “no” to that, duh.  Before you, theoretical hiring manager, ask that question, think more about what it says about your own culture.

It says to me, potential hire-ee, “Expect a lot of hours as a normal thing, with little to no appreciation, because we think ‘A player’ means ‘has a shitty work/life balance'”.

A real, actual, honestly good place to work that gets tech workers would ask something more like

Do you have a hard time just stopping when something’s half done?


Does the code keep you up at night, sometimes? And not because it’s shitty.

I’d never work for a place that would ask me a question phrased like that.

Home networking

I have a message to anybody building homes these days.

Make sure it’s fucking wired with CAT5 to every room that isn’t a bath room. Actually, you know what? Just pull it to every fucking room.

That’s it. It’s not hard. It’s not expensive to do when the fucking studs are all exposed and you’re wiring the house.

Go buy some spools of CAT5, or 6, or 6e, whatever, and put it in the walls.

Sure, most home buyers won’t care. They’ll go, “Oh, network, I’ll never use that” and you’ll eat the cost. But like I said, it’s a very small cost.

The home buyers that do care? They’ll buy from you over the other builders. Do you know why?

Go try and make a semi-complicated home network work (including streaming video to multiple sources) when there’s no wired network in place.

Go on, I’ll wait.


Good. How much did you have to spend and how many solutions did you try? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Sucks, doesn’t it?

Fucking wire the houses. It’s 2011, not 1911.

Backporting the EC2 Jenkins plugin to Hudson

It’s ah, not going well.

It’s going so not well that I’m considering switching to Jenkins just to see if that helps. And I have no idea if it even would. I don’t seem to be alone in this issue, and it’s disheartening that there’s not more compatibility between the two projects.

I know the FOSS movement is always about this type of thing, (Hudson being forked to Jenkins because of some sort of misunderstanding with Oracle, who “own” Hudson), but for the end user? It’s a giant pain. If I was a “regular” user, and not a programmer? I’d give up and either not do CI, or pay somebody to make the pain go away.

So…thanks, Jenkins/Hudson community, for sucking.

You can follow my pain on github, if you want.

iTunes is a giant bag of suck

It baffles my why Apple doesn’t rewrite and replace it. I mean, modal dialogs?? When I’m adding music? WTF IS THIS, THE 90s???

I keep trying to quit using it, but nothing else works in a good enough way that I’d be satisfied. Ecoute comes the closest, but it’s got a few subtle issues that stop me from using it primarily.

I mean, I’d still use it to sync my iPad and all that noise, but, for music playing? I’d fondly remember my WinAMP days.

My “must have” features for a replacement? It’s not a long list.

  • Global shortcuts (configurable) for “play”, “pause”, “next” and “prev”
  • Browse by artist or album
  • TRACK ORDER!! (Ecoute plays in alphabetical order, sometimes)
  • A separate play queue and browse window, so browsing doesn’t screw up what’s playing.

That’s really it.

Please, lazy web, hear my prayers.


Well, maybe Enqueue is what I’m looking for. I’m missing the fancy playlist controls, but….that may be it and I can fake that.

Cell phone subsidies

I’d just like to go on record stating that I hate cell phone subsidies.  GET A NEW IPHONE FOR $200!!!! Unless you’re an existing customer, then prepare to fork out, like, $600.

I, for one, would vastly prefer to pay more for my handset in return for a smaller monthly bill, and no contract.

Yes, I know I can go contract-less, and I would, if I got a break on a rate. But you don’t. You get the same rate, and you get to pay retail for your phones. Which is so much fun.

Don’t get me started on ETFs, either.